It's been a while. So since I've last written, I was fired, collecting unemployment, and then getting desperate for work. Since then I've moved back to MA and apparently broken it off with my significant other, which makes me evil, even though I wasn't the one who gave up. I gave up on finding a job in Wyoming sure, but I very much would have like to bring him back with me to MA.
I'm sure I'll be crushed later. Right now I'm just pissed off that he wouldn't even consider coming out this way in a few months if I found something that was good for me out this way. Since I went out to where he could "go to school", not that he is going to school or planning to go within the next few years. I don't know someone who will commit so little of themselves after two years and after I've shown the most commitment I know how to show to their goals and dreams, just makes me angry. Guess I feel cheated and bitter. Like I was never important to him or not important enough to be considered when I wasn't convient. Guess his unconditional love was more conditional than my specifically stated conditional love.
Anyhow, I'm back in the Mass area. I have an interview with the temp agency tommorrow at 9:30. I've cleaned up my resume, or my daddy helped me do so anyhow. I've applied to ten or so paces. What can I say, monster is a miserable engine but I'm doing my best with it.
Since I've been home I've had two interesting dreams.
In the first, I was in Wyoming and looking for something. I don't know what, it was never really the same. I spent a lot of time at stores being turned away and in the parking lot there were animals, like horses and chickens and bunnies and goats and whatnot. I stole some of them but I don't know what happened to them. I wanted to see Zac and at the same time I knew that I couldn't/wouldn't like what I came across. So then I went home and worked on pink eye shadow. I did one eye so well and then the other came out alright but uneven and I spent a long time looking for the stuff to redo the eye with. When they both were ready to go I left to go clubbing only to remember I have no idea where clubs in cheyenne are (if the kind that I think would be fun exist at all in that state). So I'm driving around with my eye shadow done up wishing for a dance and my bf only to remember that for some reason he doesn't want to see me or I don't want to see him, it's confused.
When I woke up I wasn't befuddled. I knew where I was and why I was there. There were no dream cobwebs of Cheyenne or illusions that Zac and I were still dating. I don't know guess that makes a relationship really dead then, when you don't even forget momentarily.
Anyhow, I don't remeber so much in the second dream except that I was traveling a lot at first with Zac who wanted to break it off and then when he did I was traveling with Jeff. Before I know it, Jeff and I are kissing and Zac is back and wants to get back together but Jeff and I are already together. It was akward and I was glad to wake up.
Saw Kathleen yesterday and that was fun. Will see AJ later when I'm less relationship sensitive and now I have to go because my brother just came home and has apparently decided he's going to go to prom after all. Date and everything and the prom is Fri and we have to pull together a tux and convince our mom that he can/should go without too much fuss. Write more later.
I'm sure I'll be crushed later. Right now I'm just pissed off that he wouldn't even consider coming out this way in a few months if I found something that was good for me out this way. Since I went out to where he could "go to school", not that he is going to school or planning to go within the next few years. I don't know someone who will commit so little of themselves after two years and after I've shown the most commitment I know how to show to their goals and dreams, just makes me angry. Guess I feel cheated and bitter. Like I was never important to him or not important enough to be considered when I wasn't convient. Guess his unconditional love was more conditional than my specifically stated conditional love.
Anyhow, I'm back in the Mass area. I have an interview with the temp agency tommorrow at 9:30. I've cleaned up my resume, or my daddy helped me do so anyhow. I've applied to ten or so paces. What can I say, monster is a miserable engine but I'm doing my best with it.
Since I've been home I've had two interesting dreams.
In the first, I was in Wyoming and looking for something. I don't know what, it was never really the same. I spent a lot of time at stores being turned away and in the parking lot there were animals, like horses and chickens and bunnies and goats and whatnot. I stole some of them but I don't know what happened to them. I wanted to see Zac and at the same time I knew that I couldn't/wouldn't like what I came across. So then I went home and worked on pink eye shadow. I did one eye so well and then the other came out alright but uneven and I spent a long time looking for the stuff to redo the eye with. When they both were ready to go I left to go clubbing only to remember I have no idea where clubs in cheyenne are (if the kind that I think would be fun exist at all in that state). So I'm driving around with my eye shadow done up wishing for a dance and my bf only to remember that for some reason he doesn't want to see me or I don't want to see him, it's confused.
When I woke up I wasn't befuddled. I knew where I was and why I was there. There were no dream cobwebs of Cheyenne or illusions that Zac and I were still dating. I don't know guess that makes a relationship really dead then, when you don't even forget momentarily.
Anyhow, I don't remeber so much in the second dream except that I was traveling a lot at first with Zac who wanted to break it off and then when he did I was traveling with Jeff. Before I know it, Jeff and I are kissing and Zac is back and wants to get back together but Jeff and I are already together. It was akward and I was glad to wake up.
Saw Kathleen yesterday and that was fun. Will see AJ later when I'm less relationship sensitive and now I have to go because my brother just came home and has apparently decided he's going to go to prom after all. Date and everything and the prom is Fri and we have to pull together a tux and convince our mom that he can/should go without too much fuss. Write more later.
Relationships can be hard. Everything can go so well and then you find that you need to be somewhere else and the other person just isn't willing to do it. That's why flexibility was always a quality I looked for in a significant other. Flexibility and communication with someone who fits, and things get a lot easier.
Anyway, I don't know if I'll be staying here. Just looking for some kind of alternative to LJ.
Love your interests, by the way.
I don't know where you are in Massachusetts but if you're anywhere near Boston the Skill Bureau is my favourite temp agency and I think they're a good place to look if you want a temp job. If you're near Worcester, that's where I'm from. :)