Updates
I have been writing a lot in my paper journal on my back and forth from here to Boston. I''ll probably back date and add those entries in later for my own records. I think there will be a lot of time spent journal writing that way this summer. It makes me super glad I got a small cute owl journal earlier this year.
Today is pretty much the day I'll have off for a little while. Not complaining about it at the moment, just saying.
I'm still really into the work I'm doing at the fund, which is good because it's only been three days and it would be terrible if I suddenly stopped liking it. I find that I'm surprisingly a tiny bit embarassed to explain or talk about what I do to other people. Which is odd because I've never felt that way about working for fast food or working as a secretary. Maybe it's the way people rush to tell me I'm doing a good thing and have a strong moral compass and so on. It's like they are justifying the work for me or something. I don't like the feeling that people are making excuses for why I do what I do.
And I'm not doing something embarassing. I'm a grassroots activist with strong focuses in bringing information to the public, getting support and bringing momentum to campaign against big buisness lobbists. You do that one person at a time door to door or on the streets. Then you follow up with publishing as much as you can in any newpaper, magazine, or other work that will have you. You petition and send letters to congressmen and reps. None of this is embarassing stuff. It's empowering and interesting and potentially hope laden. I'm confused by my own reactions when explaining the job really.
Met this kid Todd the other day who goes to MCLA. Got a million little bits of gossip from him and I was loving it. We had a ball and I'm sorry that I won't be seeing him again. Makes me think this job is really going to give me more of a chance to reach out and make some more friends or friendly aquantences. The ones I have are great but I need a few more really. And I know I'm done with college and need to move out of that mind set into something else, but I dunno, as long as I'm not trolling college activities and classes looking for friends, it's probably ok for me to float for a little while.
I also noticed that if a gay guy tosses around the word whore all the time it doesn't bother me. Maybe because he never really meant it as any one thing, just something to say inbetween like cool or awesome would be for most. Maybe it's my own persceptions of who can or can't call someone a whore. I don't know, it's got me thinking. Because I know people have used that word causually in convo and it's pissed me off, so I'm trying to figure out why now, while I've recently been hyper sensitive about language and its usuage, hearing whore bantered around made me laugh and shrug most of the time. Is it a preconcieved notion I need to address with me or is it really a case of context and usage?
The veneer of the Fund has been tarnished for me and I'm relieved. I learned that it's all about the money and being liked as far as staying goes. They do actually throw away some of the petitions when they become unwieldy instead of saving them all. They keep people they don't like or trust or whom don't follow protocal if they make money and if you don't make money and are liked you can stay forever. It makes me less nervous to know who I'm playing ball for and to know it's all the status quo. I think it might be enough for me that the money and effort is going to the cause and that there's a middle ground between horribly earnest and intense people and people who don't care at all. It's more human.
And I'm off to Jason Maraz soon so I'm happy all around. Will tell more about the Mohegan Sun and all else afterward, but I'm stoked. ^_^
Today is pretty much the day I'll have off for a little while. Not complaining about it at the moment, just saying.
I'm still really into the work I'm doing at the fund, which is good because it's only been three days and it would be terrible if I suddenly stopped liking it. I find that I'm surprisingly a tiny bit embarassed to explain or talk about what I do to other people. Which is odd because I've never felt that way about working for fast food or working as a secretary. Maybe it's the way people rush to tell me I'm doing a good thing and have a strong moral compass and so on. It's like they are justifying the work for me or something. I don't like the feeling that people are making excuses for why I do what I do.
And I'm not doing something embarassing. I'm a grassroots activist with strong focuses in bringing information to the public, getting support and bringing momentum to campaign against big buisness lobbists. You do that one person at a time door to door or on the streets. Then you follow up with publishing as much as you can in any newpaper, magazine, or other work that will have you. You petition and send letters to congressmen and reps. None of this is embarassing stuff. It's empowering and interesting and potentially hope laden. I'm confused by my own reactions when explaining the job really.
Met this kid Todd the other day who goes to MCLA. Got a million little bits of gossip from him and I was loving it. We had a ball and I'm sorry that I won't be seeing him again. Makes me think this job is really going to give me more of a chance to reach out and make some more friends or friendly aquantences. The ones I have are great but I need a few more really. And I know I'm done with college and need to move out of that mind set into something else, but I dunno, as long as I'm not trolling college activities and classes looking for friends, it's probably ok for me to float for a little while.
I also noticed that if a gay guy tosses around the word whore all the time it doesn't bother me. Maybe because he never really meant it as any one thing, just something to say inbetween like cool or awesome would be for most. Maybe it's my own persceptions of who can or can't call someone a whore. I don't know, it's got me thinking. Because I know people have used that word causually in convo and it's pissed me off, so I'm trying to figure out why now, while I've recently been hyper sensitive about language and its usuage, hearing whore bantered around made me laugh and shrug most of the time. Is it a preconcieved notion I need to address with me or is it really a case of context and usage?
The veneer of the Fund has been tarnished for me and I'm relieved. I learned that it's all about the money and being liked as far as staying goes. They do actually throw away some of the petitions when they become unwieldy instead of saving them all. They keep people they don't like or trust or whom don't follow protocal if they make money and if you don't make money and are liked you can stay forever. It makes me less nervous to know who I'm playing ball for and to know it's all the status quo. I think it might be enough for me that the money and effort is going to the cause and that there's a middle ground between horribly earnest and intense people and people who don't care at all. It's more human.
And I'm off to Jason Maraz soon so I'm happy all around. Will tell more about the Mohegan Sun and all else afterward, but I'm stoked. ^_^
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