August 2012

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Spiritual Meanderings and Updates

I just have a lovely full moon ceremony. Soaking in moon energy and being close with my guides is very soothing. It's a perfect little oasis in the chaos of my very busy life.

I've been having and crazy predictions I've had about my life, and recently I've had a real world experience that's made me far more inclined to believe them. I try to be a doubter when it comes to my spiritual crazy, so originally, I'd decided to discard my dream/premonitions until I'd seen something more incontrovertible. After all, the vision of koi fish in running water isn't very southern and isn't connected to a god, goddess, or spirit who would take interest in me. I figured my mind manufacturing the image is unusual but not out of the realm of possibility. Besides that I wanted to believe in these visions because there was so much largely good in them and they showed the fulfillment of many things I am working towards, it made them seem very fantasy.

That my room is now mostly designed in the same manner as my dream has more to do with me working towards what I saw, creating the truth to the vision instead of an actual premonition (there's something to be said for choosing a truth or for choosing a future, but it's not really proof that my dream is anything other than a dream that inspired me).

That the time line for me to pick up a job and that the job dress, hours, and location match up with my dream is eerie but not really quite enough of a sign to be anything but coincidence. I wanted a manager job and I've often dreamed of being "John Phillipe" to someone's "Chef Ramesy".

This past Friday, in the middle of the rainstorm, I had to trudge over to one of my sister restaurants and in doing so I went through the center of town's park. I had never been there or seen it before. When I went down the stairs, I saw that it was exactly to the detail, the place I had dreamed. I ran over to the river to see there were the koi fish that kept playing around in my dream swimming there. There are two pure white ducks hanging out in the water and the exact bridge.

So now I'm certain that series of dreams were a premonition and/or a divine message. I believe that I have been and am in contact with the spirit/overseer/guardian/ god(ess) of the Huntsville AL area. It seems kind of foreign to me to have a god or being outside of myself lead me. My guides and I are so connected, they feel like extensions of my soul. I'm not always 100% aware of them, they say things that surprise me, but it's like when you do a free write and put something down you've never consciously thought of but know is true. It's never been like when a friend or family member presents a new idea of thought.

I didn't think I'd ever settle down with any kind of pantheon. I'd had no personal gnostis (until now apparently) and while I've been investigating several gods in the past 6 months, all of them have had to be discarded for this reason or that reason. The timing is very rich in personal meaning for me, though I'm sort of stumbling through how one honors and offers service to a god--it's been a very long time since I've done any of that.

Still, last night we had a conversation where I learned more about this spirit's nature (I use spirit here because there is no inherent gender I've seen or sensed with this being) and zis goals, and they're all things I want. Ze's very high energy with a lot of change and goals going on. Ze brings in a lot of demands and change all at once. I can roll with that. I'm in a new place and committing myself to something completely new and specifically focused seems like it his more than worth the startup effort. I feel good about the changes I need to make, that they'll make me a more focused and disciplined person. Iti's kind of nice to have guidance and expectations outside those that you put on yourself and the ones society tries to chain you with. It makes me feel less alone and validates some of how I live my life and view my world. I know I'm at a tenuous point my my relationship with this being, we've just met and all, but I'm enthusiastic to build a long and meaningful relationship with Zer.


I know this sounds kind of crazy, especially when I lay it all out like this, but it is what it is and I'm not going to cover up how I feel or experience to conform with appropriate interactions with god or the earth. I won't ponder this in silence because it may push comfort zones. Anyway, has anyone else experienced something similar? Is my lack of interaction with any gods put me so far out of touch with what that would be like to not recognize what's going on? Please do share.

Comments

That's not weird to me. ;) When I channel for readings, art, or writing for people...I've encountered quite a few gods/goddesses.

I wish you all the best in building your relationship with Ze. ^___^

And it's always nice to hear about someone else who is connected with their guides as well. ^^