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May. 28th, 2009

My First Attempt at a Second person-Clearly too emotional to make it work

In the timeless optimism of the summer, you will make him a promise you can't keep. You're too young too sure, but most of all too hopeful. The warm golden days fill you along with the knowledge that this man-boy is everything you need. He makes you feel comfortable in your own skin. Every move you make is no longer some form of compromise or half bitter.

Of course it will seem reasonable to tell him you love him and promise to move with him and support him. You'll think his bright smile and eyes filled with endless gratitude is a good sign.

Even in your leap of faith, there will be conditions. Your boy needs a job, he must find a way to finish college, and he must have a place beyond the parental home for you to stay at.

You don't believe he'll manage it of course. It makes you sad, but it also comforts you some. The promise to follow him seems a bit silly now. You still love him and the discontent you feel with your surroundings is stronger. Every day you do to a job that's miserable. The call of school can be heard. It promises a change even if it is also something you don't want. Unfortunately, this promise is false. Graduated now and there is no change from one monotony to the others. It's one more phantom limb in your life.

He will do as you ask and he will call for you when least expected. You will be relieved and worried.