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Nov. 28th, 2004

Hormy Roomates

Persuasive Essay

We all have negative experiences with roommates. There is always some sort of petty drama about personal space, food, and bills. These problems seem insignificant in comparison to having a promiscuous roommate. Promiscuous roommates make living in the room uncomfortable and unsafe. Initially I thought having a more sexually active roommate would not really be a problem. To be honest, I thought is would be hilarious to watch a roommate pathetically throw herself at everything and anything. I could not have been more wrong. My roommate, Jill, was initially just obsessed with talking about boys, and while I found it annoying I did not think more of it. Then one day I woke up and Jill had some strange guy I did not know in her bed. I was startled at first, then I thought the incident was rather amusing, and harmless enough. When I really thought about it though, I realized how disturbing it really was. Jill let in a strange guy, I did not know in, while I was asleep, and she was under the influence. So many bad things could have happened that night, and the idea made me very uncomfortable.
I am not the only one with a negative experience that involves a sexually active roommate. AJ, my friend, also has similar roommate problems. His roommate, Matt, has a steady girlfriend who spends all of her time in his room. At first this sounds inconvenient, but again if one looks closer into the situation then one can see there are many really difficult problems. One problem is that Matt and his girlfriend often get very intimate while AJ is in the room. This makes AJ very uncomfortable. He has accidentally walked into his room while his roommate and girlfriend were being in a compromising situation, which again is terribly embarrassing. Since Matt's girlfriend is constantly in the room, AJ has to go to the bathroom to change. When AJ goes home for the weekends, he comes back and finds out that Matt's girlfriend has rearranged the whole room, including his side of it. Clearly AJ's rights are being violated by Matt's girlfriend's constant presence.
AJ and I are not the only two who have these problems with roommates. All around college one will hear problems of similar nature. I know one person who has caught their roommate having sex on her bed, and another story of a drunk roommate trying to convince someone into the room to have sex with them. Perhaps the most amusing, but also most awkward story I have heard is one where drunk roommate wrote a letter to someone and signed it with the room number she lives in. Now every time the guy walks by he looks at my friend strangely because he thinks that she wrote the letter. In all of these stories one roommate's rights and level of comfort in their own living area is being critically compromised. This is wrong and entirely inappropriate.
I, like many others, have strived to find a fair and correct solution, which would not be too insensitive to anyone's needs or rights, and I believe I have found an adequate solution. Every time a promiscuous roommate comes back with someone else with the intention of having sex with them, one should kick them out of the room and force them to have sex in public. Forcing roommate to have sex in public will be best for everyone involved. One wouldn't violate their fellow roommate's rights, because they would still be allowing the roommate to have sex if they wanted, just not in the room. This solution would guarantee that the other roommate would no longer feel uncomfortable in their own room. Also this would help the more promiscuous roommate think more before jumping into bed with someone, because they would know that anyone and everyone could be watching. Lastly, and perhaps most satisfying, the promiscuous roommate would be embarrassed and made to feel as uncomfortable as they made their roommates feel.
One of the best parts about forcing the sexually active roommate to have sex outside the room is that the other occupant of the room will no longer be forced to sit uncomfortably in the room and try to do work while their other roommate "attends to more primal needs". It is unfair for one roommate to monopolize the room without some sort of forewarning so the other person living in the room an find somewhere else to stay. It is inappropriate to get that intimate with someone while someone else is in the room is clearly disturbed by the activity. Now, the other occupant of the room is left to work in peace, and no longer has to worry about what he or she will find when he or she opens the door.
This approach is good for both roommates, because while one can enjoy the sanctity of the room, the other will gain the ability to think over his or her decision more clearly. If one had to have sex in public, one would think more about what one truly wanted. One would be forced to think about the consequences and implications of their actions, because one's choice would suddenly become open to public commentary. Often times, the offending roommate would probably be immediately snapped to his or her senses if he or she was pushed into seeing exactly what he or she was doing to their body and them self. One would realize how risky anonymous sex really is, and perhaps one would learn to respect his or herself more.
Not only would the offending roommate begin to potentially see some of the vices in their ways, but he or she would most likely also be incredibly embarrassed. There is nothing quite as satisfying as seeing the shoe placed on the other foot, and forcing one to have sex in a public place, would indeed be a very embarrassing and awkward experience. Perhaps it would help to illuminate to the promiscuous roommate the wrongs of what he or she was doing to the other room occupant. The person might walk away from the experience a more sensitive and reasonable person. If nothing else, once the promiscuous roommate walked through the dorm halls the next day with everyone looking away and blushing in embarrassment for him or her, it is sure that they will have a new perspective.
My solution, as many other solutions, is not perfect. Certainly it would nearly impossible to force a hormone crazed roommate out of the room with their significant other in tow. I also doubt that anyone would want to see two people having sex in a public area. The scene would be vulgar and disgusting. There would also probably be massive censorship problems, as no one would want a child or minor to walk by while two people were having sex.
With some work and earnest consideration though, I am sure one could over come these challenges. For example perhaps one could have muscle bound "escorts", who would help remove a troublesome roommate. These same "escorts" could keep on the look out for younger children and redirect them safely around the scene. Once these problems are over come, the world could finally take proper measures to help protect roommates from feeling awkward and out of place in their own rooms. The world is uncomfortable enough without anyone having to go home worried about what they might find their roommate doing.