August 2012




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Aug. 4th, 2012

My Lammas Writing

Something I have struggled with since I entered the pagan path is holidays. What do you celebrate and how do you celebrate it? There's always kind of a wheel of the year-ish cycle, but how and why seem to change all the time.

It's Lammas which for me is more of a planning reflecting time than a holiday. As the first sign of the harvest, it signals to me to look back on my past year and see what I've been building, harvesting and otherwise growing. What are my first crops and what can I plan to harvest through out the rest of the fall? What will I be working on longer than the year and what comes into my silent meditation and reflection following Halloween? Here's the yearly review of what I have and what may come with me.

At Halloween I was deeply attached to a man whom I claimed I wasn't dating and who claimed not to be dating me. In reality I was on the brink of love with him and he was on the brink of the same by January. The whole thing failed to launch then and again in April/May when we picked up again briefly.

Late April early May, I started dating another man, and am still seeing him. Emotionally, I don't know how deep things run. I care for him and hold a lot of affection for him. I think I could love him, but my feelings right now are in flux over him. We haven't really had enough bonding time for it to be a bone deep hum. It's something I see growing in the field and am looking to nurture further. I'm already planning some of the bonding possibilities to see if we will be lasting or if I just like traveling with him. I do think there's more but my own uncertainty, the newness of the exploration, and lack of really deep connecting moments is going to hold me back and hold him back for that matter. I know what I need to do to cut these hang ups and I plan to have a better idea by Halloween, if all goes well, I'll have plenty of time to reflect and continue to work on this relationship through winter holidays as well.

Work wise, I was working a terrible job I hated and was looking to quit in October. I was hired on to a better company in a better position with better money and benefits and a competent nice boss. My evaluation is happening now, fingers crossed that all my building and growing goes well.

Friend wise, my landscape is sparse, has always been so. I recommitted myself to communicating with my best friend and I write to her now something of substance about twice a month.

Writing wise, I'm actually partaking in typing and jotting notes, so that's more than I was doing in October. It feels like everything is improving and I'm slowly fighting back bad grammar habits. It's like blazing a path all over again. I want to focus on different writing styles and formats. Something I'm struggling with in particular is being able to remember which person I'm writing in. I don't want to swap from “I” to “one” to “you”, I just want to pick one and run with it. I also want to refocus on tenses and stop slipping between the past and present. I won't be up for writing a novel in November, but I'd like to think my blogging, tarot readings, letters, and journals will improve. I would like to be able to write or attempt to write poetry by December too, but I'm still no sure that's in the cards.

Religiously I followed my usual cycle. I was strong in faith during Halloween. Huge parties and reveling for me, I know most pagans were busy being somber and serious during Halloween and scolding all the wayward pagans who see Halloween as a last year end celebration. The last feast, before keeping our heads down in an quiet and unpredictable winter, any I decided then that those pagans could win the most somber award. Don't tell me how to practice or that my practice takes away from yours and I'll be sure to do the same thanks.

The winter quieted me some, I did more hibernation than reflection this year than in past years, but with the work schedule I had, the demands of the man, and my desire of oblivion who could really fault that I had no time for writing down most of these reflections, meditating or beginning the process of character building that should come from some of those thoughts? I made strong in roads in February where I picked up yoga and gained free time which really jump started my prayer and further examine my revelations. It granted me time to make pilgrimages and worship out and about Alabama. It gave me time to consider my morals and blog some on them. I'm in the process of blogging on the Delphic Maxims, and I put in my own contribution to the pagan values month in an original tarot inspired post. I'm going to continue with the Maxims even though it does seem like others have dropped the blogging party for the time being. I've also begun to write responses and thoughts on other's religious posts and I think that is going to become part of my religious practice/ internet controbution.

This year I've been able to truly commune with my Gods as I saw best through rituals, meditations, and prayer. I feel more connected to Gods than ever before and I better understand some aspects of my place and practice. I have a more structured and comprehensive practice than I've had in previous years and I'm finding Gods have been particularly helpful in giving me more to contemplate and more inspiration on how to practice.

Other new areas are blossoming in my life which I'm trying to think of how best to grow. Having local Gods now, for example, makes me consider the limits of my God's influence. Ze is a local God centered in the Huntsville location whose reach I know extends into Madison, at least where I currently reside and where I'm looking to move to. I'm uncertain about whether Ze has any power where I work. I know Ze has an awareness of what goes on, but as I believe Ze is centralized around Big Spring, a natural limestone spring at Big Spring Park, I'm uncertain of how far that reaches out. I think Decatur/Trinity is a tricky transitional place where Ze has some influence but not the same as closer in to Huntsville. It's occurred to me that there are border places where Gods share responsibilities. Where I work is so close to the Tennasse River I wonder if that God has primary responsibility over what's on the banks with land gods taking a secondary position. The feel in the Decatur Trinty area is certainly different, though not hostile. This and some experiences I've had with other land Gods is something I plan to keep exploring and further understanding.

I feel far more connected to the land now that I have ever before, and it has turned my practice more environmental. Instead of simply using the wheel of the year and the harvest cycle as a metaphor, my surrounding land is actually mostly farm land and I'm learning a lot about the plight of farmers this year as we're suffering a serious drought.

I find myself praying for rain. I feel pulled to collect rainwater for various ritual use. So far I have been given three specific new rituals straight from my Gods to use rainwater for.

I have been pulled to meditation and contemplation near rivers, streams, marshes, swamps, ponds, retaining ponds, and man made ponds. Water and green growth weight deeply on my mind right now, even though I am personally barely effected by the drought.

Fast on the heels of this growing awareness for the physical use of the land, the common climate, and whether things are going well for farmers is the question of how does this affect my Gods. My city God has some farm land and some conservation land in Zer domain, but Ze's stronghold is a down town suburban area. There are some water restrictions for the county and certainly there is wild life suffering as much as people, but all of this seems as if it could be inconsequential or at least far more damaging to humans than to a God or Gods. I get the impression that while the drought is a consideration and not good and has Their attention, its not the primary focus on Their plate.

I'm also coming to learn about River Gods and tree spirits and why one is a God and the other a spirit. It's interesting but doesn't belong in words just yet.

Jul. 9th, 2012

Delphic Maximum #6: Know What You Have Learned

One addition I have here that I haven't seen: It is even more important to remain aware of what you have not learned or perhaps cannot learn. I'm talking about book knowledge, social experience, cultural knowledge, and religious mystery here.

Book knowledge can often be easy to uncover, though depending on the field of study one might find a limit to discovered material as well. Knowing what assumptions one has made or what gaps may exist in one's knowledge is core to moving forward in studies or in applying that knowledge.

Social experience is personal. One can never learn a lesson or teach a lesson to someone else. One can advise or offer suggestions, but there is a true and important limit to one's understanding of other people and other situations. When it comes to judging another's words, actions, or view point it is knowledge and compassion for this lack of knowledge that helps me communicate and understand another, not my actual knowledge on said subject.

Cultural experience is very closely related to social. I think it's important to acknowledge the two are separate but linked. Both obtaining cultural knowledge and knowing when one is out of one's known culture is more important than to me than knowing every cultural nuisance of one's home culture.

Religious mystery is something I think is core to talk about in the Pagan Umbrella. We aren't all mystery religions and we don't all believe in religious mystery, but enough of us do that we need to be familiar with it (at least as familiar as one can be with a secret). Speaking purely for myself, this idea of a mystery faith was almost impossible for me to grasp when I first started exploring paganism. I was raised Christian and the whole idea that there was something one could not or should not teach another about one’s faith or the universe was completely foreign. After all, Christianity isn’t just a revealed faith, but one who’s core tenant is to spread the good word far and wide. The concept that deity might want you to keep quiet or may choose how to disseminate information in a way that one cannot adequately share the knowledge, is beyond imagination.

I followed on in confusion and ignorance. I have to admit I often thought and felt unkind things toward people keeping religious secrets. It seemed to me like there was some kind of exclusive club I wasn’t being let into or some grand information that would make my world view fall into place if I only these people would give up the goods so to speak. Finally one person finally gave me an example of a religious mystery being experiential based and therefor impossible for them to relate to me as I had not had that experience and words couldn’t fully describe or explain the meaning of that experience. This idea was something that finally clicked for me in a way it just hadn't before. Suddenly the world of a mystery religion or a religious mystery made sense to me. It occurred to me, that I might already have a few of my own religious mysteries. I could tell people about the ritual and what I perceived as happening but no words would describe the fullness of my understanding or the way the information was imparted to me. It’s like trying to explain the feeling of white water rafting,. I can talk about the bumps and the sprays of water, the size and shape of the raft, the near misses with rocks, and moments where I was almost thrown out. The person I tell the story to can relate to a certain degree with what I’m telling them so long as I’m descriptive, but if they’ve never been white water rafting or they’ve seen a river or been on a boat, their understanding is naturally incomplete.

The point is that there is a ton I don't know and something the pagan community has given me is that now I'm certain I don't want to know it all and I don't have to know it all. That's a years in the making conclusion and one I have to come back to sometimes when I push too hard, but I'm certain it's not something I ever felt was ok before paganism. So know what you've learned, know what you have not learned, and know that you don't have to and should not learn it all.

Jun. 16th, 2012

Pagan Values Month 2012 Following the Tarot

This June is Pagan Values month (  I've been reading a ton a beautiful and wonderful assessments of pagan values, ethics and thoughts (many of which are linked either in the archives or at the facebook event page) and at the same time I've been wondering what I am going to write, if anything.  Some people have covered broad over views and some people have picked specific topics to dig into.   Some works read like a manual and some are filled with poetic imagery. 

I wanted mine to stand on it's own as something of value to me and to help bring something to this community posting session.   I've been struggling with how to do that.  While I enjoy posting on the Delphic Maximums.  It's helped to clarify my stance on a lot of issues, it's started to bring form back into my writing, and it's something concrete I can look at from blog to blog and see direct variances to discuss and understand, I don't think these laws really encompass my moral and ethics.  So much of my posting on them is about only in these situations does this apply, that I feel it doesn't encompass my world view.  Plus, what I've written on the Delphic Maximums has often been said better by others already.

As I often do in these instances, I went back to my Gods and the Divine and decided that I would do a tarot draw on what the universe felt like I should talk about for this post.  Below isn't what comes to my mind first or what is most important to me, but what Divine sought for me to focus on in this post.  It's an important lesson in and of itself: to know when one is lost and overwhelmed and to know how to seek advice either from Gods/Divine or from others around you.

Three Card Goddess Tarot Pull:

How I View My Morals Based On The King of Pentacles:

Things that strikes me immediately about this card: pentacles are associated with the earth, which is my horoscope element. This card is supposed to be about me and how I feel, and my draw is my wheel house element. Earth was also coincidentally the first element I really connected to and bonded with. I probably have the most similarities to fire or air and am most covetous of various water qualities, but earth is my stand by. When I need something, I go to the earth first. My worship is to land based deities. My practice is about focusing in the present or what is here in the earth realm.

I have to admit that while I like to present as fluid and dynamic, it's nice to think there's solid ground and back bone behind my values and morals. Nothing could say that more strongly than pulling a powerful earth suit card to start my June Pagan Ethics Blog Out.

The pentacle itself has heavy meaning to me personally as well. It was the first pagan symbol I was drawn to and it touches a chord deep within me that's hard to define on paper. I've always admired the math of the pentagram, put it in a continuous loop and there's a little poetry with that perfection.

Another interesting little note on the card itself is that the King in the Goddess Tarot is only the second highest card in the suit, female cards, the Queen in this case is ranked higher, so this reads as the Queen in most standard tarot decks. It suits because I'd want my moral view to be considered of a higher caliber of a face card (I want others to think my morals are a higher standard than they are hence the trick out goddess tarot king that's a queen) but specialized in a manner only found in the minor arcana.

This card says I don't want to talk about immaterial in regard to ethics, I want practicality that works in this world. It tells me that I' focused most on how I treat other people and how those people treat me. I value above all else generosity and nurturing. It's what I think I'm best able to give others and how I prefer to be treated. In particular, I want to help people to grow to be their fullest self. I have specific idea about how to best manifest that, but I acknowledge that each person's solution would have to be individual and would come only in his or her own time and space. I like the challenge of both understanding another human, seeing their multitude of options/talents, and watching/waiting so see where exactly they are in their journey and where they want to go.

I'd like to think that I offer a kind and unique perspective to those who want it. I similarly like to think I value other's kind and unique perspectives on my life when they are provided.

How My Gods View Morals (two cards one for each Deity): King of Staves and the Nine of Staves:

It fascinates me that both Deities I honor at my alter chose to speak to me through the fire sign of the minor arcana. It relates back in my head to the votive I light in their honor and interactions that cut through regular consciousness bright an sharp like little embers escaping a bonfire.

Fire speaks to both the intensity of feeling and relationship we have but also to how fickle and changing that relationship can be. In particular one of my Deities values change above all else, that Ze would speak to me through the most aggressively changing element isn't particularly surprising. Hospitality is also very core to Ze so the hearth symbolism is also fitting.

The King of Staves, which I pulled first, again speaks toward generosity. Instead of offering oneself to fellow humans to help grow and learn together as the King of Pentacles suggests, the staves suggests a mutual interest, particularly in the natural world, between my Gods and I. I seek them through the natural world. We share not because we want to or need to but because we are curious and desire to know more. We make gifts to each other and acknowledge one another. We do not entirely understand one another or the realms in which we live (though they certainly have more understanding of my realm than I do of theirs), but we believe that we want the same things are are moving in similar directions.

Our interaction and tentatively forming bond is still being woven together. It's a project that we don't know the outcome of, but are curious to see more.

The Nine of Staves pulled itself out of the deck when I plucked the King. In this instance I believe it's meant as a series of gentle reminders. One is that my interaction with Deity can not be stagnant. That is to say: 1.) My Gods are not satisfied with only rituals or meditations. I must take them with me into the actual world and act out what they want in my mundane life as well in ritual life. We can have all the conversations we want, but I need to work too. 2.) My Gods don't want me to do the same thing over and over for them or for myself. I have to do something different and unknown. I have to push boundaries, theirs and mine. I need to take risks, explore, and otherwise wander with intent and purpose.

Also my Gods wanted to remind me that while my relationship with them is deep and fulfilling, I'm never to tune out the world. I am supposed to interact with other people and inspire and touch them. I'm supposed to need and rely on more than my Gods, even if I feel like I could follow a solo path without other humans invading, I am not supposed to.

Its possible through this card that I am supposed to be seeking other gods. While there is value to what I have and how I practice, I'm still seeking and expanding. Where this journey will go, what else and who else I will meet is an open question. I'm supposed to stay alert to what is presented to me and respond to it as it comes.

That I'm supposed to be making a new different journey that doesn't look like something someone else is doing. There's a certain level of gloating in that, but there's also the immediate reminder that I’m going to mess it up. There is always unknown danger in the new path and there are always mistakes the first time you do something, that how it's supposed to be.

How the World At Large Views My Morals The Three of Swords:

I snorted when I first pulled this card. Three of Swords is the ultimate heart pain. In this circumstance it probably stands for many people pulling me many different ways kind. I wanted to pull another card for clarification but there are a couple of ways this can fit that I want to.

First it makes me think of polytheism and how to a monotheist this must look like a recipe for disaster. Most of the USA is Monotheistic after all, and if they could objectively look at my religion, perhaps the first thing they'd consider is how does one go from walking the one path with the one truth to walking many paths with many truths. I can go on about the pluses and minuses of polytheistic vs monotheistic outlooks but I would think the sheer conflict would strike people hardest.

The other aspect of this card might be that various people would like to pull me in different directions than where may faith is pulling me. If I care about this person, their views on faith do pull against my views in a way that might be hard or painful for me.

The aspect of this card that suggests a disturbing outside influence or an “other” force having a hand in my life is bemusing to me. Most people do recognize me right away as somewhat of an intuitive and I do find that this disturbs some people at first. I think those who haven't experienced some kind of divinity find it scary, especially when the concept of divinity presented isn't in step with the culturally common mythos. I generally take this as something to be proud of, that I have access to something that is valuable and that others want/seek. It's possible, though I've missed some of the darker things people think in this regard. It's in review but I'm not ready to call it.

Three of Swords makes me think of my family too, who I know view my religion as misguided at best and doomed for failure and pain most likely. They aren't the world, but I think they hold sway over the way the tarot answer the question.

This particular card also has the inner sacred eye on the heart the three swords are piercing. It reminds me that while these perceptions are not mine and they are not the truth, they can and do effect me. When I let this static in or when it floods past my barriers I let these people get into the very soul of my being and block off my energy and connection.

Jun. 10th, 2012

Delphic Maximum #4: Respect Your Parents

I really struggled with what to write for this particular maximum. I have the benefit of following a lot of established and well written bloggers through these maximums and their answers have helped to prompt more insight than I use in my writing. I take whatever my gut gives me and write it out before I've processed all the complexities and subtleties the subject offers. Part of that is nice because it would be days before I had everything I think written down and part of it is frustrating because sometimes what should have been my main point is lost in a side tangent because it took me three pages to write the core of what I wanted to get out.

So far, everything I've written has a tone of denial or been conditional in a way that I know my mother would source as my inherent contrary nature. Any absolute offered or implied absolute, I feel required to challenge. Even thinking of what she would say to these responses, knowing she would never read them and knowing that she would never be able to get over the non-Christian nature of them to be truly critical, rankles me.

My relationship with my parents is troubled and our primary area of stress ties to my non-Christ based faith. This stress does strain our ability to adequately display love or respect for each other.

And I do love my parents quite a bit. I want to please them and make them proud of me. I want us to agree on our standards for living and morality. I just won't do any of this at the expense of my sense of self or what's right, a strength of character than I credit entirely to my mother.

I still go to them for advice and I consider their advice heavily. It tears at me when I have to go against it, if that's the case, but it doesn't stop me from following me first. This consideration for their words and contributions should show respect. True, it is a respect I would offer anyone who gives me advice or shares their life experience with me, which makes me wonder if there is a certain quantity of respect one needs to give and if I've given my parents their fair share. Would they be insulted to know how I weight their words vs others? Do they feel slighted every time I do my own thing and does that come down to a lack of thought or respect or is it truly just a different world view? How much is enough, am I right or are they or is there some object middle ground? It's heart breaking for me and I wonder how many others feel this way in a quite corner of the world where they don't voice it.

I do think most people world over want to respect their parents and elders. We argue over what that means. We all want to assert that we value this without thinking about it and we want to assert that we do respect our parents. I know I am hurt by the idea that I don't respect my parents adequately but in the same moment I am hurt by the concept that I must follow their path or there is no true respect or understanding between us.

Because my relationship is fraught with the same insecurities I've had since teen-dom, this maximum makes me think of being young and how I treated my parents then. It was not always with the respect they deserved, particularly where paganism was involved. I violently rejected Catholicism. Now, I wish I could have been kinder. There was fault on both sides, but I have a lot more sympathy for their thoughts and feelings on the subject now. I feel like I'll always be trying to make up for that mistake. Its not something I regret what I told them then is essentially true though I regret how harsh and intense I was about it. Who knows, maybe nothing but that kind of rejection would have ever made them understand, I know on some levels now, they don't get it still.

In some regards, though I listen and consider counsel from my parents, I don't feel I respect them now because I am always holding back and couching what I mean to be at the level I think they can handle. Is it disrespectful for me to hold back my truth feelings and understandings for the sake of another's comfort? Is it it inherently disrespectful to reject another's view point or to believe one knows better even when the other has or possibly has more experience than oneself in the subject?

I don't think that a person has earned respect just because they reach the age or fertility, had sex, and were able to birth another human being. I've never been one to agree with the idea that one should have to respect any other being just because. My parents have been good to me. They provided for me above and beyond the bare minimum required. They have stood beside me in battle for what they think is part of my rights or part of what I've earned. They look out for me and my interests as best as they can. This sort of person whether a friend, family member or partner, should be cherish, valued and respected. It's always hard when their standards and yours don't line up though, particularly if the person in question was a care taker for you is all.

May. 30th, 2012

Delphic Maximum #3: Worship the Gods

My only response to this seems simply to be “yes”. I've gone through a lot of phases of divinity. I've spent large amounts of time considering different ways to worship, what worship means, and what form of worship is best for each god or divine presence. I've never been without praise, awe, humility, and reverence. I understand these concepts are tricky to grasp and mean different things to different people. That's a whole other series of essays I don't want to cover right this moment.

Huge swathes of my life, my time, and my plans are all part of doing and being in the name of my gods or divine energy.

For me, this knowledge of divine is innate within me. I have first hand experience that drives me in my faith and makes me certain I am on the right path doing the right thing for me.

A couple things I want to point out here for clarity. Worship does not mean that I follow blindly, refuse to acknowledge imperfections or flaws, or that I feel compelled to impose my will or beliefs on others. Also, ritual that defines worship does not have to be complex or ornate. The structure of ritual does not have to be either rigid or brittle. Worship/ ritual can be deep, meaningful, impromptu, and unique each time. I know that what is or is not worship can be touchy to a lot of pagans as is the whole idea of whether worship is a good or appropriate thing. For me, worship is a needed part of my life and practice.

May. 28th, 2012

Delphic Maximum #2 Obey the Law

I'm an American and the laws in this country are mostly good rules that I agree with. Day to day life I generally strive to obey the laws in paper and spirit. Some laws like rules of the road are not moral issues but just a set of guide lines that we need to follow as a society to get along. I actually value these guide line laws more than the “moral” ones because day to day that's what makes day to day coexistence possible.

All that said there are laws I'm morally opposed to, anything that attempts to obstruct gay marriage or that may limit a gay/bi/trans person's ability to work in a chosen field or live in a certain area. I'm also against any laws that restricts women's reproductive rights or rights to health care of any variety. I'm against laws that enable corporations to care less about their workers or the community in which they do business. I'm against laws that allow banks and other money lending groups to give money out at rates or in amounts that the group knows an individual will never be able to repay.

There is a lot I can do to combat this within the scope of the law and I do that. I write to my representatives. I go to protests and marches. I raise money for awareness and to support my causes. I stay as well informed on these issues as I can and have learned how to politely but firmly discuss my view with others to help raise individual awareness. I support legal challenges to laws I find unconstitutional and I've had occasion to bring the threat of legal action down on those not following the letter of the law.

Often time legal means of change, in a country like the USA are better than illegal means. It distances one from “extremism” which has become a four letter word in our political discourse. To be extreme means to hate you opponent and to be willing to slaughter to get your way, pair this with 9/11 and your cause is rejected before you even have the chance to really present it.

Beyond that, we're a country that is as a whole willing to listen to different perspectives and views. Our lack of homogeneity makes it hard to get any one thought enacted or to standardize curriculum, but it also makes us used to the idea that there are other views and that these views have validity or something to teach us. I think one of the few good things about a 24hr news cycle is that it shows people have interest in what others have to say on a national and global level. The pundits our loud, annoying, and offensive, but that you can make a living shouting is something uniquely American.

This doesn't mean I'm opposed to illegal means of supporting my cause when I believe it will do more harm than good. I think Martin Luther King Jr proves that sometimes one needs to make extreme and illegal moves to get ones point across. When an establishment is so prejudiced and opposed to your view that they will not allow you to get permits for a march or an assembly, sometimes the best thing one can do is go ahead with the march or assembly anyway.

I would help plan and perform a gay marriage in any state regardless of legality. I would help a woman or group of women seek reproductive independence in a safe medically sound manner regardless of cost or legality. I would teach youth a full sex education class including abstinence and I would reject ever teaching a child intelligent design because anything less is an insult to knowledge and a mockery of what our schools systems are in place for.

Were there a draft right now, I would help contentious objectors avoid going to war. If there was a draft right now and women were not included in the lottery, I'd help anyone who wanted avoid the draft as no draft that effects half of a fit population can be fair or just.

There are forms of eco- “terrorism” that I can't help but admire.

Even as I tell others to respect the limits of public land and the rights to private property, I know I don't do so myself. When I see something interesting on my drive I do pull over to investigate and often photograph it. I have no idea of the land is public or private. I don't know if I'm trespassing and whether I've put myself it to true and deep danger. I know I'm a curious and impulsive person who felt called and responded. I'd accept jail or a fine for the crime. This one in particular I'd agree is petty and stupid, but not morally wrong. In some ways, I think attempting to bar access to land is the bigger moral imposition.

I don't respect what I don't value and I've never been good at obeying that which I don't respect. It's often prudent to work within the law and to at least give lip service to the ideas or intent behind the law. It's not a moral mandate. Heck, one of the Gods I follow is Colombia and even she doesn't make it a Godly mandate to follow the law. Liberty, justice, and truth first for her and the law will follow from there.

May. 24th, 2012

Delphic Maximum #1 Follow God

Star Foster started a blogging party on the Delphic Maximums. While I know very little about these, I thought it would be interesting to look at them and see how they fit my own defined ethic. I thought it might help me focus on what if anything I should write about for June's Pagan Blog Ethics deal. For more information on Delphic Maximums or to see a round up of who else is blogging on them I suggest musings of a kitchen witch's post.

And now may I present my actual writings on the subject:

My first and instinctive response to “Follow God” is a simple “no”. It doesn't last long, but part of me violently rejects the idea that I am a being meant to obey or follow above all else.

Coming to Gods, for me, was a long and slow process. It's a state that is new and not at all natural. My Gods and I negotiate a lot. We both need to be fluid and respectful of each other in the process to get anywhere. The word follow is too forceful: full of surrender and action not necessarily in line with my will. Objectively, I realize follow has none of these implications, but emotionally, it's a word I reject.

There are all sorts of way to follow. Before I had Gods, there was still something sacred, worthy of respect, and bigger than me in the world. I took time to acknowledge, admire and learn from this nameless experience based thing. Often this feeling came from the natural world for from random acts of kindness others demonstrated. It was something I valued as transcendent and core to my own life. These were moments in time that I needed to honor and that I would cherish and carry with me. I think this qualifies as following God so long as the idea of God in general is not required to have too many human characteristics or human like will.

Separate from these moments of epiphany, or only loosely connected, was my magic and energy work. There is what I consider divine energy, but it also lacks a will as humans define will. It isn't a commanding human-esque entity to be followed so much as a power to be ridden, on a good day, and borne on a bad. It taught me, showed me, pushed me, and occasionally used me as a vessel which I managed with varying amounts of grace, but it never commanded as such or provided a road map.

The point here is that for me Following God means almost nothing. It's on par with telling me to live my life. There are very few moments in my life at this point where I am not aware of energy and deity. If following God means to acknowledge and honor God then most moments of most days I'm the model of this maximum.

On the other hand, I don't do commands well particularly if I don't understand why I'm being commanded or if I believe the harm out weights the good. If following God is something that's done without question, without discussion, and without hesitation then I really only have a 50/50 track record.

Furthermore: I don't think Gods know what is best for a human or for me in particular. I'm not certain one should follow every edict a god may choose to make.

Star Foster thinks there are two bits of criteria to judge one's ability to follow god. She asks us to consider:

1. Is what we are pursuing godly, sacred and of high virtue?

2.Are we following that instead of trying to drive the train ourselves?”

I have no qualms with her first meditative question assuming what's godly is paletable.

The second concern bothers me though. I'm all about driving my own train. Gods might be like life's GPS but I should be able to take a left when they want me to take a right: particularly if I don't like GPS' destination or if I just want to explore the farm stand over on the left. There are perfectly good benign reasons not to follow Gods. Indeed I wouldn't even necessarily call a farm stand stop directly disobeying Gods so much as leisurely following. While my interactions with a more human minded deity is very new, there has already been a time where I went left when deity said right and they just re-routed me to where they wanted me to be because in that instance it meant that much to them. If Gods can do this, I don't see what it matters how willingly or immediately I follow. When they want me to get there, I'll be there.

We all know what if best for ourselves or at least this is a core truth we should all strive to find with or without Gods. I think we need to follow the call that works best for oneself whether that involves Gods or not.