So Very Busy
In pink because I'm hopeful that makes my stress and worry lower a bit. Though to be fair there is a lot of exictment there too.
- Saw Kathleen this weekend, for what I thought at the time would be our last face to face for a while. I'm pretty sure I'm going to see her again for a Dar Williams (here's hoping her new CD with "buzzer" is out) concert though (if you read this before I email yes to you, the answer is yes pending on ticket prices). Anyhow I'm definately going to miss her, it's a little sad to see our college best friendness be stretched, but I suppose it will be good too. After all going somewhere new and doing something completely different has to be (hopefully will be) at least as good as it is bad. Maybe I've totally messed that up though. Meh.
- been helping my brother with all of his many summer reading essays and he's not too bad a writer. My mom made it sound like he was terrible and, well he isn't. I guess I should have pulled that from my high marks in English compared to my mother's rather acidic criticque of my own work. Either way, I'm glad it will be easier on him...even if he does fight me a bit on how much correction is required to make the essay actually meet the ruberic AND fit into your basic thesis formed paper. It's not entirely his fault they wanted him to cram so much info in one essay, personally I think really there should be a summary paper and a reaction paper as opposed to forcing the two together, but that's just how I do things I guess.
- I've noticed how some habits you think are dead really aren't. A few weeks ago my bf was talking to me about how he'd downloaded all of The Killers because they reminded him of me. Now I like The Killers, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out why they would remind him of me. I mean if I were to pick an artist, it would be something less mainstream, like Frou Frou, Loreena Mckinett, Tori Amos, and what have you. What I hadn't figured in to this equation is that I sing and hum a lot, most often if there is a song to go with like the Killers (which I would be more likily to hear because it is both on my playlist and on the radio as well as on many other's playlists) but I also sing whatever is stuck in my head when I'm happy or when I need filler or when I want cheering up or just because. I didn't think about that because I didn't think I did that anymore. My mother hates humming, singing, and whistling. She always told me I had a terrible voice when I sang that would drive people away (of course none of my friends think this and I have some pretty honest and musically inclined friends, but to each their own). I didn't want to hear all that so I stopped singing and phased out humming when at home. Turns out I still do it as long as I'm not at home. I noticed that at work, since I'm in an isolated area, I'll often catch myself singing out loud and have to stop. It's just weird to think something like that, which I thought I grew out of is still very much a core little snippet. I don't know, I guess it just sort of hit me how much I change/shut down when I'm at home.
- I've been having really stressful upsetting dreams but when I wake up, there's just that emotion and little snippets of what was going on. For example, I know that last night's dream was about packing and moving but it was also about hiding from some dream version of Nazis who pretty much wanted me dead. I know it's just stress from the waking world but it still is unsettling. I wish the anxiety would leave me be when I'm sleeping.
- I'm making a baby blanket for my bf's sister. I'm trying to hold reiki energy while making it too, but I'm not sure how well that's going to work out for me. It's hard to be a clear radio as Mrs V woud call it when one is snarking over snarls, tangles and lost loops. I'll just have to try harder I guess.
- My bf started moving into our apartment today. I know I'm not there and not going to be there for a bit, but I can't help but feel thrilled. The landlady didn't just clean the carpet, but she just put in a new fridge, stove, and dishwasher. She hadn't mentioned that when we were looking at it (and by we I mean my bf while he kept me informed of course). I'm glad we stuck with this appartment pick even if the kitched is insanely small.
- While talking to Kathleen it occurred to me that I think I really do want to try my hand at getting some of my work published. I haven't felt this free in years and it's so odd. I mean on one hand I can see that my slightly emotionally abusive mother has a pretty strong hold on me still because when I tried to tell my bf that I wanted to work on getting published as part of my career goals in WY I lost all basic control to talk and blurted out "what do you want me to do for work when I get there?" It's the kind of answer I give my parents when they are working on me. It isn't the kind of answer I should give my bf. I should be able to just say what my plan is and he should accept it. Hell I know he supports me, I know he would want me to explore all opportunities I can perceive to the fullest degree and I still choked up in telling him. It doesn't matter now, I mean I did end up explaining what I meant along with my freeze. I'm really exicted about the whole chance. I'm pretty sure I won't get too far, but at least I'll have tried it and seen if it was for me now. I'm going to be posting more about this job and other work related thoughts though, so I'll leave this for now.
- I need to throw up a pagan post at some point in time so know that's reserved too.
- MUST CLEAN. Though I'm beginning to see an end, so that's always happy. I'm thinking about doing the same thing my sister did in regard to packing my clothes anyhow, which will cut all that down immensely. Still being finicky with books but Gods know I can get through it.
- I am THRILLED to give my two weeks on Fri WORK SUCKS.
- Saw Barack's speech on Thurs and I soooooo want to be part of his speech team. Wonderful writing. Really moving.
- Haha McCain you pick poor vp choices