August 2012




RSS Atom
Powered by InsaneJournal

Jul. 15th, 2011

Organic Food: Sorry, I'm just not that into you

Dear Organic Food and Your Many Loud Supporters,

You are delicious and noticeably superior to you altered counterpart. In some cases you've made me realize that I do like item X so long as it's natural. All praise aside, I do not think of you as a profoundly moral issue or a factor in education that people are just waiting to discover. It's well known you taste better and are probably better for me. It's flaunted in every ad campaign that has even the littlest claim to organic material let alone actual educational and news media sources. You are so much better for me, and if I want you, I'm expected to pay a premium for my better health.

Beyond your lack of moral bearing, I think it's classist when people bring you up as a profoundly moral subject. We don't all have equal access to you with your expensive price tag and your appearance in limited stores. I've been hungry and looked longingly at you while choosing to purchase your cheaper counter part. It's what I had budget for and certainly veges of any sort are better than more processed foods. I think of people choosing to either eat better or to have themselves and their families feel full, and I understand exactly why processed is picked over you.

I know your supporters claim anyone who respects their body and the food they put in it should always choose you, but Organic food you aren't like smoking. People don't just pick up the processed food without thinking and unaware. Most Americans antagonize over their food whether for weight reasons or for pricing or for some kind of cache that certain foods seem to have at certain times. And people need to eat where they don't need to smoke. That processed food might be a need for many. They choose to eat that rather than starve, and I think even you organic would be hard pressed to say that starving is better than processed food.

Like many pagans I think there is something mystical in food preparation and like many liberals I think that corporations are amoral entities that will do what they can get away with and therefor need to be eschewed. Both of these beliefs do lead to you, Organic Food, being superior to processed food particularly when local. However: I acknowledge these things as ideals not as something in stone for all people to follow. Like most moral statements there are situational circumstances that alter what should or should not be done. Should I buy organic food for myself and only me with my money or buy processed food for my family and I: my budget can only support one or the other. Should I buy the processed food and give the excess to a food bank or should I buy organic food for only myself? Am I a good enough gardener with the time and correct soil/location to grow my own vegetables or must I rely on what comes into the stores? There are so many relative questions and some of them truly seem to have no good solution or right answer. Why would I judge other's choices or give advice in a manner that sounds like there is only one definitive conclusion a sane rational person would come to?

Organics you have much of my love, time, and money. My loyalty to you was easily won. You can have lots of things from me, but moral high ground is not one of them.



May. 27th, 2009

Letter to Zac Break up post and what not


So my emotions are finally in such a state of flux that I don't know what they are. I think I'm angry and hurt which is mostly amusing because one reason we dated was that I didn't think you could hurt me. I'd had my share of know down brawls and I was done with them. I needed someone safe and secure.

I still don't know what your raised voice sounds like. I don't much care either.

I thought our relationship meant more. I should have known you have no sticking power. Between an unpleasant place and the possibility of better living, you chose the known quantity. I wasn't safe or sure enough for you to consider the risk.

You choose the stupid risks over those that might actually land you somewhere. I left thinking I just didn't get it, that you were some mystery. You know what, no one gets it!

There is so much I don't get:

1. Why didn't you pick a major and finish. You knew the debt and you meandered around. I was a luxury you didn't have.

2. Why Wyoming over Ian's?

3. How could you just give up without thought? What did I do that made you decide I wasn't enough to even consider and in light of choosing not to, why didn't you lie? You couldn't wait until after I left to break up?

You are on of those people who can never be at fault because you never choose. You are at fault by not choosing sometimes as much and then you never got what you wanted from the whole mess.

Can you even make a decision? Are you capable of being ahead of the curve instead of behind it?

I don't think I want to talk to you or abou you again. You have hurt me so much without meaning it. You don't mean anything ever though.

I'm so hurt, angry, and sad. I don't regret but I don't know if I'd be amenable to seeing you again, even on an as friends basis.

Perhaps the saddest outcome is that I don't hear you. With those I spend so much time with, there are imaginary mental counter parts with whom I speak to in place of the actual. You don't have on because you never have anything to say. You believe people like talking just to be heard, but I don't. I want the response, dialogue, reactions, thoughts. I want another view and balance. You never gave me this. I think you could have but didn't.

I did value your acceptance. Open arms and keen but kind eyes was something I needed, but one can't be done to the exclusion of the other. It's always been hard for you but I'm not binary girl. Either or's aren't my mindset.

What I miss most about you are the touches. It's something that you'd think I could get elsewhere. In some specific scenarios, I know I could do better even. You'd be surprised how reluctant I am to replace those comforts or how many of those warm hugs and rubs fall flat. Sad melancholy those people meant to chase away deepens. Your touch meant support, love, affection, acceptance. Even as I know your body lied, created a support system the rest off you had no intention of giving, I miss it. Its nice to feel that with no strings attached even if it's a lie.

All of this is to say that while I'm a liar and emotionally unavailable at times, you are a deceiver. While I don't love you, can't love what is really there: a scared boy who wants a stability and love from his parents that they will never be able to provide. Someone who chases this illusion subconsciously and single mindedly to the destruction of all else-- and if this isn't you either, I have no clue who you are. Shy, fearful in so many ways I'm not, you were good for me in spite of it all. I'm mostly sorry I wasn't good for you in some way. I hope you figure yourself out. I hope you find what you need. Most of all, I hope you find your joy. I'm sorry I wasn't more helpful in those pursuits. Goodbye.

Never Again Yours.

Mar. 20th, 2006

LE letter to Jeff

Dear Jeff, 
Sorry that I haven't gotten back to you sooner.  I've been caught up in school and what not and haven't been able to collect a moment to write.  I've been doing a lot of internal reflecting and as life happens to be, I think that I have a response to how I plan to save the world.  

I know you were planning on writing a letter, and email is impersonal.  I thought about it though, and honestly I'm going to type up whatever I write way before I print it because my hand is horribly out of shape and because my spelling is terrible, so email really is a faster mail for me.  

That and I'm going to want my own copy of what I think at the moment, for posterity sake.  I've realized recently that a lot of the older things I've written fall into two categories.  One category is the funny/ pathetic one where I realize how much I've out grown that view and how immature I was being where the other view is one where I really value what I've written and a window into who I was.

Initially I'd planned on responding to what you wrote, because as far as actual plans go, I didn't have any at the time you wrote to me on how to save the world.  However, I've really been thinking about myself, what I'm going to do after college in my own internal reflections and among other things (that I'll probably tell you about in a separate letter or next time we meet), I have somehow stumbled across what I plan to do to "save the world".  It is at best a tentative, poorly planned response that I'll probably add onto or completely change later.  I also want to note that I really don't think my response is appropriate to the original intentions of the question, but that's still not going to stop me from responding ^_^  

I've decided that saving the world is way to broad a topic, so I'm defining what I feel it exactly is.  Here's the list of what "Saving the world" would require.  
1. Creating some sort of global peace or universal understanding/respect/tolerance for others' differences and beliefs by all people *not the government* but the actual public itself as well as having some sort of government policy that stuck to nonviolent forms of problem or disagreement confrontation.  
2. Eliminating large misconceptions about health, such as: hygiene, exercise, proper diet, and major causes to common diseases as well as providing every person the ability and resources to apply such knowledge.
3. The preservation of nature because it is widely acknowledged as something precious and worthy or saving.  Not its protection for the sake of our own existence, or because we as "higher beings" "choose" to preserve it.
4. A return to the feeling of unity and connection/empathy for fellow man.  A conscious decision to foster togetherness instead of a feeling that we must compete against each other for livelihood and the idea that "everyone is an enemy".  These negative ideas might help the cooperate man get more out of his employees, but it also creates scenarios where it is to one's benefits to sabotage another's work and creates more setbacks in the long run than anything else.
5. The same time I want diversity.  I want people to feel free to think for themselves and create new and innovative ideas.  I want people to be able to disagree and debate without fear, I just want them to be informed and understand the other's point of view.  One's personal life and person beliefs are things that one should be free to have without fear of prejudice, as long as it doesn't involve cruelty to human life or the torture of animals.  On the same venue, if any one involved is a healthy, mentally stable, consenting adult(s), whatever the act or decision is, as long as it remains within the group that agreed (doesn't affect outside adult parties or children) is should be acceptable. 
6. I want everyone to take responsibility for themselves.  I want them to want to work and want to help contribute and support themselves and those they care about/community.  As the world exists now, there are people who are lazy or "free loaders".  I like to believe that this is not a built in pattern of human nature, but a creation of the society we live in today.

7. I’m sure there’s more so this is reserved for that when I think of it.

A couple of acknowledgements up front about these sorts of lofty goals.  They are unrealistic, and if possible would take a large quantity of people working towards the goal over a massive amount of generations.  That being said, I do think that it is possible and I do believe that the world and society in general is moving, however slowly to these goals.  Also I do believe that it is a worthwhile mission and goal even if I never live to see its accomplishment or significant movement.  Though some of these feelings might be easier for me to project than others because I do believe in reincarnation and I know that all the past lives of myself were dedicated to this sort of work and that this life as well as my future ones will be dedicated to this sort of life until there is movement towards my aspirations of peace.  

As for exactly what is required, that's rather a complex question.  My immediate responses come out something like:
1. A massive redistribution of wealth across the world (which of course I have no idea how to do). 
2. A massive purging of bigoted and wrong information replaced with the correct information (which would be hard to do on several accounts, one is that the prejudice information is so ingrained into some society's lives that trying to re-teach even the children would be difficult at best, also the media and other sources considered "reliable" lie and deceive so often that it would be hard to find a credible source to universally distribute, and it would be even more difficult to get people to believe the source was credible and not some form of propaganda...not to mention the financial amount that would be sunk in the attempt to gain and distribute said information).  
3. An effective model of the UN, which either has the power to enforce its will on national governments or that other governments respect and acknowledge the authority of.  
4. A form of governing body that has not yet been created.  Something that doesn't put the emphasis on Capitalism, as the faults of the United States seem to highlight the problems with the system, but it also can't be communism, as that too doesn't perform well in actuality.  Also, I don't believe socialism would work as it lack the motivation that people raised on capitalism need to thrive (though as I like socialism and slowly working towards a system similar to that might not be a bad thing).  I know there are other forms of government, but I have no desire or the knowledge to continue to impress the idea that currently known governments are inappropriate vehicles to create to fix the world.
5.  The actual food materials/health materials available to everyone so that one can live a healthy life as well as the time and information on how to exercise appropriately.
6. Completely different forms of technology that is less damaging to the environment
7. A definitive agreement on the extent of "animal rights"/what is or isn't "animal cruelty" and universally applicable laws on the subject (is it appropriate to kill animals for food or clothing?, are there certain circumstances that make is appropriate to kill animals for food and if so what are they?, what about plants' rights?  what does or doesn't exclude them from the same rights as animals and if it is decided that it is wrong to eat both plants and animals then what will the human race consume for substance?) 
8. and beyond all reserved for later inspirations, these are the immediate corrects I see that need to be made to move toward my above mentioned goals (though I'm sure if we did this there would be significant fine tuning as well as things I inevitably left out.  

Of course reading these requirements it becomes apparent that no one man or organization has the resources to complete even one of these tasks without significant resistance (in my own mind I do think that each of these tasks are impossible, I can't think of any one plan that is morally acceptable (you know the whole not breaking one's own aspirations by using military force or forcing people to conform) which would ever reach these ends ever, but I've always been a bit short sighted and abstract).  So the question of course becomes how do I personally plan on attempting or beginning the changing process.  My answer is somewhat flippant I suppose, but regardless, my plan is to live my life by my own beliefs.  

That sounds silly, and really condescending, I almost have trouble typing it, and I can't image telling someone that to his or her face.  But it’s my plan.  I am constantly searching for the truth and the common misconceptions of religion, and I intend on being outspoken with my knowledge as well as sourcing it so others can follow my research to check its accuracy. I do believe that most hatred and prejudice in religious terms comes from misunderstanding and fear, not actual intolerance. There are some fundamentalists in every religion that will disagree, but I can respect that and respect that I can’t force knowledge on everyone. In time the majority will become the sum, and fundamentalism will disappear, I won’t be there to see it, but I’m certain that it will one day occur.  I plan on living in and fostering community debate and acceptance of differences. I want people to see the way religion influences them and acknowledge it as an intricate part of their morals that they can’t foist on the rest of society.

I plan on opening an alternative healing center that will include holistic massage, energy work, and herbal remedies. I think that in living my life by my own codes and helping to heighten society’s awareness of different potentials and truths I’ve done my part. I think if everyone did their research in a topic they found interesting and actively spread the information while living their lives the way they would in their ideal world, we could, over time, “save the world”. I know as it stands there are a lot of bad people. I’ve read all about the Dominionst (my new political topic of interest) agenda and how well they are spreading it, but I think the majority of the population has more common and what I would consider quality morals and sentiments. The majority would outshine this smaller population and in the end I think others would see the logic and reasoning in these more humanistic principles over stricter black and white scenarios.

Part of it is I feel like making small scale changes that personally affect an individual will stick better and be a stronger message in the long run of life. I guess that part of it is I’m hoping for a domino effect, where I help those I come in contact with the resources and skills I’ve cultivated and those people will help others they come in contact with how they can who will help….so on and so on. I’m also hopeful that the people I come in contact with will find my help to be a high enough quality that they will recommend me to others and in that manner my methodology will speak for itself and win other people over.

I guess another large component to how I feel has to do with this idea of sacrifice I have been thinking on a lot recently. I don’t think that sacrifice has to be something the restraining of how someone is or the suffering of self for other’s good. I think that idea of sacrifice will cause resentment and drive people away from any sort of “charity” work or work for others. I think one should only become more centered in one’s own self and what one is through sacrifice. I’m not sure if that makes any sense at all, but it’s a concept in motion, and once I’ve got it more concreted I’ll throw out some examples. I guess one that I can think of right now is for example the simple fact that I don’t like going to visit the elderly, they scare me and I find the whole experience unfriendly. There are plenty of people who like that work and I should allow them to throw themselves into that work full force, while I tackle forms of charity I enjoy that I’m sure other people don’t like.

The idea of self love is growing in importance to me. But thoughts of that, are still to ethereal for me to throw out right now.

I think that’s it for now…its really not a lot, and somehow I thought it would be more. I’m sure I’ll have a lot of add ons once I think about it more, but that’s it for now.

I hope you’re having a blast at school, and I look forward to when we see each other again. I know that this isn’t a complete response to the topic, but I figured I’d give you what I have for now and flesh it out later ^_^. Well, hoping the weather is good where you are and you’re having good and enriching experiences.


Tags: ,