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Dec. 8th, 2006

Pr Hello Utopia EDITED


Hello Utopia

"Get motivated", they say.   I'm taken aback, I mean, Just like that?  Wow wish I was that simple.  

"Get Goals," they same will proclaim.  Like there is something on this God forsaken earth to stretch for.  Its all hopeless.  I possess nothing and I wish to possess nothing. 

I'm going no where and I  allow myself to drift like a free agent in an overly confused sea.  Not the sea we have now though.  That metaphor is cliche, over used, and inappropriate.  This sea is some sort of post global warming sea.  Where we've all drowned and our carcasses, along with all God's glorious creatures, float water logged and bloated.

Obviously global warming is going to kick in all at once.  We and evolution are caught so much by surprise that we suffer briefly and die all at once.  Hence the grotesque image of these bloated barely recognizable bodies.  I suspect if this were to happen that even the cockaroaches couldn't escape this one, though if anyone could it would be those bastards.

Back to my post-global warming sea, I imagine that many bodies bloated and rotting would reek.  Its destined to attract flies when the bodies speckle the shore.  This image assumes that there is some land which had climate to support flies still in existance, and it also assumes the existance of shores.  There might not be any more, maybe mountain peaks will jut out of nowhere for several decades until the sea erodes the pointed prouds peices of dry land.  Goodness, I wonder if the force of the waves will impale the bodies onto the rocks?  Wouldn't that be akward.  I wonder, would a bloated body spew out black blood and half disintergrated organs for the little fish to nibble on?

Maybe that much decompisition of all those corpses would poison the sea life.  Then again there's a lot of water to dilute the toxins
and salt is a natural disinfectant, so probably not.  Regardless though, I feel like I've been set out to sea on this rickey driftwood with all these gross bodies poisoning or not poisoning (probably poisoning if there are a lot in close vicinity, which there are) the water surrounding me.  They are definately poisoning my air though, and even on the off chance my sun blistered hands brave the burning salt water and miraculously manage to scrabble some food, I wouldn't be able to eat it.  In fact I've probably dry heaved myself past exhaustion and into death through dyhyradtion out in the hot sun. 

Anyway, the whole damn point is that the outlook for me isn't very good.  I don't know what I do or don't like to do.  I don't know what I want to do, but I know what I don't want.  I don't want to be unhappy.  Unfortunately, it seems life is not  the promordial seas, filled with infinate creative potential, but the post global warming sea.  It is capable only of death for that which I know and cares for and survival to alien sea life far enough away from random decomposing corpses that I don't even get a glimpse of them.  Oh and by the way, I know its not just me. I humbly welcome everyone to the majority American youth senitiment.  If only I was the execption in this instead of the average.  Perhaps I would feel better, knowing these to really be my own perversions and not symptoms of a degenerate generation.

Oct. 16th, 2006

I'm mixed up. 
Whatever though, what's new with that. 
I seem to lose me a lot,
it would be funny if it were someone else.
I'm sure I am funny to someone else.