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Oct. 25th, 2009

A little imagination...

May. 28th, 2009

My First Attempt at a Second person-Clearly too emotional to make it work

In the timeless optimism of the summer, you will make him a promise you can't keep. You're too young too sure, but most of all too hopeful. The warm golden days fill you along with the knowledge that this man-boy is everything you need. He makes you feel comfortable in your own skin. Every move you make is no longer some form of compromise or half bitter.

Of course it will seem reasonable to tell him you love him and promise to move with him and support him. You'll think his bright smile and eyes filled with endless gratitude is a good sign.

Even in your leap of faith, there will be conditions. Your boy needs a job, he must find a way to finish college, and he must have a place beyond the parental home for you to stay at.

You don't believe he'll manage it of course. It makes you sad, but it also comforts you some. The promise to follow him seems a bit silly now. You still love him and the discontent you feel with your surroundings is stronger. Every day you do to a job that's miserable. The call of school can be heard. It promises a change even if it is also something you don't want. Unfortunately, this promise is false. Graduated now and there is no change from one monotony to the others. It's one more phantom limb in your life.

He will do as you ask and he will call for you when least expected. You will be relieved and worried.

Oct. 1st, 2008

Pagan Scene so Not Here

Ok, I knew that Cheyenne would be a dead zone for a lot of things I like: Barak Obama, gender and sexuality rights, feminism, and spirituality/ faith. I don't think I realized just how much of a dead zone it would be.

My google foo hasn't hit one new age, pagan, or reiki store, group, or event in the city. Granted I haven't been exactly making it the top of my efforts. It's more of a side project really. The closest I can come to are entirely online stores and the Cheyenne network's “metaphysical classifieds” which is to say a listing of candles and jewerly.

What is available is a lot of anti-pagan literature. That part is a little amusing really.

There are also a ton of prayer beads for all major faiths. I didn't read too much of the articles but I started wondering exactly which Gods/Goddesses these beads were geared to. I had similar questions for the Hindu prayer beads. I was also curious about the specific colors the bead apparently have to be. It is what it is I guess.

There's also a weird article about Tithing and whether this “crazy pagan ritual works”....I thought tithing or giving money to the church to buy salvation was Christian in nature—though a practice that isn' used any longer in main stream versions of Christianity. Thanks to this article I now know that tithing is also apparently making the rounds in some pagan group somewhere (which may or maynot be true). The idea is apparently that however much you give will come back three fold, seven fold, ten fold or whatever based on specific tradition. Sounds to me more like someone is confusing the Wiccan rede, but what do I know?

There was once a Pagan National News. The last article to be put up were of the 2007 variety. Sorry pagan_times. I really do need to go update that community and see if I can breathe some life into it.

There is a pagan meet up in Fort Collins on Oct 13 at 5:30. To get the full details I've got to join it looks like. I'll think about that.

There is a UU church, which I'll look at mostly out of desperation. It could be either really good or really bad, but either way it's not like they'll want money. Maybe this Sunday I'll go to there class and see how I like it. I'll see exactly what's going on down there and what not. If it isn't good or if the information they have in the areas I'm interested in is inaccurate I can always not go back. In fairness, they do have a lovely online madala section up.

Witchvox and DailyOm have failed me in finding more than a few fleeting members who live in the area, though I am a bit temped to pm them and see if they have suggestions or knowledge I don't about the area. I'm trying to decide what is polite and proper in that line first before acting. I was looking on OurGrove before the internet crapped out. Never been there before and I'm not sure how I feel about them yet, but I'll tool around a little. I suppose I could always go wander over mysticwicks. Haven't been there in years though. I think I actually have to create a new account. Anything else I missed? At this point I wouldn't discount anything.

Certainly I can continue in my practice myself. In fact as far as celebrating and being open, I have more space to work my rituals and a more supportive home life. I was just hoping there was some kind of out reach I could pick up here.

Surprises of the Negative Variety:

In case anyone was having a bad day and thought they were the idiot in the room, please stop. Today that idiot would be me. I don't know why I thought the substitute teaching thing would be easy to do. I guess I just assumed that WY was like MA. In case anyone was wondering, it's not.

Where you don't even need a degree in MA to be a sub, in WY you need a degree, 65 in class hours, and a state permit that includes teaching courses, teaching time, WY constitution info, a background check, and finger printing. Just getting the permit is $100, no mention that I can't find on how to get class room hours. Oh and even if I did all this, the district if probably freezing applications in the coming week-guess everyone with a license wants in.

I guess it's good that WY is careful with their children?

So plan one was foiled and I hot trotted back to monster. It doesn't help that all the jobs are really unappealing or that the interenet here is on the fritz (like now I'm typing this into a word processor because there is no wireless to steal.

Oh well, maybe I'll pick up a few PETCO applications after all, because I think I'd like working with animals. With my luck you probably need licenses for that too. Meh, I'll go tomorrow.

Anyhow, brainstorm with me, what kind of jobs would I actually like to do? I like children and animals. I like teaching and nurturing. I suppose if I had a nurse's license that might work. That would carry over from state to state too (with a test or two anyhow) or maybe an nurse's assistant. I'll look into that when the internet is back.

I also like team focused activities, writing, finding creative solutions. I've got an English degree. What kind of entry level work can I do with all that?

I know when the web is back I'll have to look into temp agencies and see if someone somewhere will take me even for a temporary period.

I'm not desperate yet, but I am worried. Worrier by nature really. Send me good wishes and hopefully within the month I'll be able to figure something out. I won't be one of the people who lives off their significant other. For one thing the mate can't really afford it (well technically he could but it would be very close). For another I can't stand to be at home all that time without work. Maybe I really will go work with him. They'd take me and the pay isn't terrible. Plus we'd have the same hours so we wouldn't always be missing each other.

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Driver Ed Anyone?

Driving in Cheyenne is really odd. There's a lot about it I don't like, but I just think it's my resistance to the newness of it. It's probably like moving from New England to England language wise—if you knew nothing about the differing English slang other than the fact that the English slang would be different than the New England slang. Annoying but not something that's insurmountable.

No one uses turn signals. They have a left hand lane but instead of having a light that regulates when you go or a green with a yield for traffic sign they've got these weird blinking yellow lights that basically mean go whenever you can. Sometimes they'll turn green and sometimes they never do that.

Did I mention that you can see forever so sometimes I have a tricky time judging when to signal. I mean I can see where I'm going for a long time and it always seems closer than it is. Of course that particular problem is entirely mine, but it will be a bit before I can drive well.